Pushing The Boundaries

I don’t know what happened or why things have changed, but they have! At 20 months old, R and M have started to test their limits, to see how far they can push their boundaries and to see how far they can test our patience.

Apparantly this is completely normal at this age, but that doesn’t offer me much comfort! Usually both girls are so good at doing what I ask them. If I ask them to sit on my lap so I can put their shoes and coats on they usually do it without hesitation and when we’re out without the pushchair and I ask them to hold my hand again they do so straight away.

I’m not saying that we don’t have any blips. There’s my constant battle with M to get her out of the bath. I suppose I should be glad it’s not a battle to get her the bath. Then of course we have my battle to rinse the shampoo out of R’s hair as she hates water being poured over her head, but these are all things I can deal with easily.

The changes I am talking about are both a sign of our girls growing up, but also a sign of them realising that they can say no.

R started having tantrums a while back and whilst I used to joke about the terrible twos arriving early, I know firmly believe this more than ever!

Getting R to put her shoes and coat on is a constant battle. Asking R to do a simple task she would have previously done in an instant is now an ongoing saga that can last up to 20 minutes. Getting M to sit in her car seat or highchair is becoming increasingly difficult and I know this next one is quite normal, but trying to encourage them to share toys and not fight over them ends up in more tantrums than usual.

Even getting them to eat their mid-morning snack is a battle and this is coming from a mum of two little girls who love their food when they’re well!

Everything appears to be a problem at the moment. If they trip up and clearlly didn’t hurt themselves all of a sudden the tears and noise start and well it sounds almost prehistoric!

Tantrums I can deal with as I just tend to ignore them and they soon realise that it doesn’t get them anywhere, but when it comes to getting them to do something I’ve had to change tactics.

I’m not a mum that usually feels comfortable with shouting at our girls as I believe there is a better way and that way is sitting down and talking or explaining to them why what they’ve done isn’t good etc, but this approach isn’t getting me very far at the moment so we’ve turned the tables a bit.

I’ve become firmer and more consistent. While I don’t believe in the naughty step or time outs I have found a few things have worked so far.

When R refuses to put her shoes and coat on, I simply say something along the lines of: “Oh well, me and M will go to the park on our own then and you can stay here.” I’ll then pick M up and go into the porch shutting the door behind me and I’ll wait a moment or two. I can always hear R crying and as much as it breaks my heart to leave her crying it has to be done at the moment and I just hope she realises quickly that it’s not getting her anywhere.

After a minute or two I’ll re-enter the house and R will willingly let me dress her.

Another thing that both girls have started doing more and more lately is clinging onto to our legs, wanting to be picked up all the time. We used to always pick them up, but I’ve started to stop doing this now.

Trying to butter toast, get things out of the fridge or brush my teeth with a baby or two in my arms is hard so it has to stop.

Ignoring them works and even though it means more tears, again I feel it has to be done and I just keep telling myself that it will be worth it in the long run!

Another recent battle is getting them to sit in their highchairs. Why, all of a sudden do they not want to? They arch their backs and moan like wild animals. 

To say I’m feeling stressed at the moment is an understatement. 

Are your little one’s the same? Share your tips by leaving a comment below