The Perfect Age to Have Children
Ever since I can remember I have always known that I wanted to have children. The thought of becoming a mum and having one or two children has always been something that has appealed to me. When I was a teenager I was a bit of a worrier. I would worry about silly things like how much my pension would be when I retire or how I would be able to afford my own home. One of the biggest things that I worried about was when I would have children. Life seemed to be passing me by and I worried that I would wake up one day, alone, in my forties and childless. Yes, I know! What a strange thing for a teenager to think, but it’s true, I worried about it!
Now, I have a confession to make and I am sure I am not alone in what I am about to say. I am a huge Sex and the City fan and when I heard Carrie (aka SJP) saying this in the movie:
“Enjoy yourself. That’s what your 20s are for. Your 30s are to learn the lessons. Your 40s are to pay for the drinks.”
It really got me thinking. I saw the film two years before our children were born. At that time I’m pretty sure Twin Daddy and I hadn’t really discussed having children. I can see the pros and cons of having children when you’re young, but I can also see the pros and cons of having children when you’re older. When I say I can see the pros and cons of having children when you’re young, I’m not talking about your teenage years as I think that is too young. When you’re a teenager I believe you are still discovering yourself and who you are, where you fit into the world and wondering about what aspirations you may have for the future. To me, your teenage years are for having fun, meeting new people and going to parties, but it’s also the time in which you have to start laying down some ground work for your future such as going into further education.
Now, this is where is starts to get complicated for me. I do believe that in your 20s you should have fun, go travelling, meet new people and do all the things that you want to do, but it also a time for developing your career. I consider myself to be a bit of a feminist and I strongly believe that women can have a career and a family without having to sacrifice one for the other. I started work at the age of 16 and even before turning 16 I always yearned for a job. The extra responsibility and money was very appealing to me. I’ve had all sorts of jobs in between going to college from cleaning to bar work and silver service to working in a shop and even a dry cleaners. I got my first full time job when I was 19 and 7 years later I’m still working for the same company. Sure, I could have gone off and travelled the world for a while, but I chose not to because I wanted a career and a family. The advantages of having children in your 20s is that you have lots of energy to chase your little ones around and when you’re children are grown up, you’ll still be young and can then enjoy more freedom and have more time to focus on things that interest you.
“You’re 30s are to learn the lessons”
Although I’m not 30 yet, I have found that the older I get, the more I start to agree with this quote. Some of my previous posts have been quite thoughtful and sentimental as I have looked back on my life and tried to find some answers to the many questions that I have.
Having children when you’re older also has many benefits. You’re more likely to be financially stable and the chances of you owning your own home are higher than if you were in your twenties. You’re also more likely to have savings, plus you’re more likely to have a lot of life experiences which could help you as a parent. If you do decide to have children in your 30s, 40s or beyond you may have already done most of the things that you want to do and may now feel ready to settle down.
I don’t think there is a perfect age to have children. I think it all depends on the individual and how you live your life. Who are we to judge the teen mums or the older mums anyway? Does having a baby in your teens mean that you’re going to be a bad mum? No, it doesn’t. Just the same as having a baby in your older years doesn’t make you any less of a great parent. What do you think?
