Irrational mum fears – Is it just me?
The world seemed a much safer place when it was just me and my husband.
We would walk anywhere, at any time, not taking much notice of those who passed us in the street.
Care free, even oblivious some may say to the world we live in.
In truth it wasn’t that I was oblivious, simply that I had a ‘blinkered’ outlook on life because some of the ‘problems’ I now find myself facing were never an issue to me before.
Now though it’s a different story and I find myself presented with this new scary world.
A world in which I suspect everyone and a world in which we compete with one another over trivial things in place of supporting each other over those so called trivial things, but at that moment in our lives, those trivial things don’t seem so trivial.
I know my fears will disappear the older my children are, but for now they’re very real fears. Some may irrational and others may think me crazy.
Although these current fears will fade, I imagine they will soon be replaced with new ones.
I can’t believe that September next year our twins will be starting nursery school. It’ll only be half days to start with, but it doesn’t seem like I’ve had them all to myself for long enough and they’re being sent away to school.
A place where I won’t be able to watch them 24/7.
A place where I won’t be able to protect them all the time. From the pinching, hair pulling and biting.
A place where I can’t go to cuddle them if they cry or feel lonely.
I know school is an important part of childhood, but it seems too soon.
Too young!
They’ll be three and a half when they start.
I worry about their first day.
Up until now they’ve never been to nursery.
Never experienced that sort of setting.
They get looked after in their own home. Once a week by daddy, once a week by my dad and then the rest of the week by me.
They’ve never been in an unfamiliar environment without mummy or daddy before and it worries me.
I’ll try to prepare them as best I can by talking to them about school and why it’s important to go.
I’ll explain to them that mummy and daddy won’t be with them, but that they will have each other.
I’ll reassure them that mummy or daddy will return to pick them every day.
The original school that I wanted them to go to (the one I attended as a child) has a policy of splitting twins up.
Sadly, this means they won’t be going there anymore because I’d like them to stay together for the first term.
We have another school, which is closer to where we live that they’ll attend. I don’t think they split twins up, but I’m waiting to hear back from them on this.
Surely, being together will help reassure them. I don’t see any reason why it would be a bad thing. Do you?
Just for the first term. After that I’m sure they’ll be used to the idea of school and will start to become more independent and make their own friends, but just for that first term I’d like them to stay together.
It just doesn’t feel like I’ve had them in my care for long enough.
I know they’ll be coming home to me and still spending the majority of their time with, but that doesn’t make me feel any better!
Some mums I’ve spoken to can’t wait for their children to start school so that they can get a bit of normality back. A bit of me time back, but I just want that extra time with my girls.
Aside from school I worry about so many other things.
Just the other day we were in a supermarket and both girls had dresses on. They were sat in a trolley and this elderly man just stopped and stared at them. Smiling and gazing at them.
It made me feel uncomfortable. Would I have felt differently if it had been a woman? Probably, but it wasn’t a woman, it was a man and I didn’t like it.
The same thing happened with another elderly man in the same supermarket on the same day.
Call me suspicious, but I think it was bizarre.
I can understand a smile as they walked past, but to stop and just stare it just plain rude and sorry, but it makes me thinks you are not a person. The ‘P’ word comes to mind. I know I may be being totally over the top, but who cares as long as I keep them safe. Right?
I worry about their futures.
How will they be able to afford to buy a house or a car?
I mean I’m struggling with this myself.
We’ve been putting aside some money into a savings account each month for our girls for when they’d older. I hope by the time they turn 21, they’ll have a substantial amount to help them out.
My husband and I do differ on a few things though. I’ve said that if I could afford to buy them a car when they’re older then I will.
My husband disagrees and says that he was never handed things on a plate. He had to work for them, so why should our girls be any different?
What do you think?
I think we’ll beg to differ on that one!
Do you have any irrational mum fears?
4 Comments
Beth Twinderelmo
September 2, 2014 at 7:16 am
I think that's quite bad they have a splitting up policy. The school my son goes to & where the girls too will hopefully go they give the parents the option which I think is much better.
Nursery and ultimately school is very hard. It's hard to let go of everything you feel you've instilled in them and hand over the reigns. It's hard to see them dealing with children and behaviour they've never seen before. Enjoy this next year xx
Cardiff Mummy Says
October 10, 2014 at 9:18 pm
I hated my daughter starting school for half days and it was even worse when she started reception in September. I miss her so much, and also my son who has started three mornings at a playgroup. I just want them with me, like you say. My daughter came home the other day and said she had fallen over and her teacher had given her ice. I hated that I wasn't there to look after her. Still, I know she is learning lots and seems to be having a great time. It's so hard though to let them go.
We also put money in an account for our children. Unless you are putting away millions for them, I don't think it is handing things on a plate to them, just supporting them with a helping hand. They will still have to work for most other things!
Cardiff Mummy Says
October 10, 2014 at 9:19 pm
Forgot to say #goldenoldies linky!
Michelle Murray
October 13, 2014 at 8:53 pm
Oh Emily I can relate to this so much. I too have similar fears. I remember a trip to the supermarket when little J was small enough to fit in the car seat type seats on the trolley. A man stopped and stroked his leg. I freaked out. I actually said to him not to touch my son. We just want to protect our babies and it never goes away. Big J is 12 and I feel as much protective over him as I do little J because he's out and about in the big wide world and it's scary. #Golden Oldies thanks for linking up Hun xxxx