The truth about having twins
Having a baby is a life changing experience for anyone.
Having twins, triplets or more is even more life changing!
People often ask me how I do it.
How do you cope with twins?
How do you deal with them?
My answer is always the same.
The same way you would deal with one baby. I just do it one child at a time!
Having twins brings with it so many complications, but it also brings many joyous things too – and I’m pleased to say that the good outweigh the bad!
Even if I have to remind myself of this sometimes! Especially if they’re both having a tantrum!
Actually, come to think of it ‘bad’ is the wrong word to use.
Nothing about having twins is bad. Hard, emotional and exhausting are probably better words to use!
For starters there’s the pregnancy itself.
Luckily mine was a breeze!
No morning sickness, swollen ankles or big weight gains.
In fact if it wasn’t for my expanding belly, you wouldn’t even know that I was pregnant!
No, I’m not saying all this to rub it in your face! I’m just telling you the truth!
Of course this is just my experience. Many other women who carry twins have all the symptoms in the world and I don’t envy them one bit! Well, aside from the massive pregnant belly!
You see from the very beginning, our very first scan, we were told that one twin was smaller than the other and to prepare ourselves for our next scan as we may only see one baby.
Thankfully, both of our girls made it, but they were born early and had a joint weight of 6lb14.
My belly was small for twins and normal for a single baby.
I wasn’t small to look at, but I wasn’t huge either. My bump was neat and from behind you would never have guessed that I was pregnant.
Aside from spending 27 days in special care – I’ll save the details of this for another post – our girls were born relatively healthy.
The early days at home were tough though. I’m thankful that for those first 27 days of our girls lives we had the support of the nurses and doctors because in a way it prepared my husband and I for bringing them home.
They were already in a routine of sorts. We’d feed them a set amount of milk every three hours.
If you’ve never experienced a special care unit, it does something funny to you!
You measure and record everything!
Every drop of milk that your baby drinks and at what exact time.
It just becomes a habit because you do it in special care.
If you express your milk, you also record how much you expressed and jot down the time and how long you expressed for!
I know, it’s a whole different kind of record keeping!
Anyway back to the first few days and weeks at home…
Every three hours through the night, I would wake just before our twins did.
I’d go into the kitchen prepare their milk and then dream feed one baby.
When they’d finished their milk, I’d put them back in their cot asleep and then dream feed the other baby.
I can’t remember how long they had their night-time bottles for, but they were always very good at staying asleep throughout and afterwards too.
In fact for the first six months everything was perfect!
They’d sleep, drink milk, play for a little while and then repeat the whole process again!
Around seven months of age they started to cut their first tooth and from then onwards, life became hard!
Sleep went out of the window!
Routine went out of the window and I thought about going out of the window too! Just for a breath of fresh air!
M had silent reflux which progressively got worse. To the point where even the sight of a bottle of milk would leave her crying and arching her back in fear of the inevitable pain soon to accompany her milk time feeding.
It was awful to watch.
I wrote a post back in October 2012, eight months after our twins were born.
You can read it here, but basically in that post I explain the following:
- Both girls had started waking up in the night, every night
- My husband and I were exhausted which resulted in us being irritable with each other and feeling stressed
- It was hard for me to admit, but we needed help.
We both admit that we wanted to do everything ourselves. We didn’t want to rely on others.
I was and still am very protective of our children. The thought of someone other than me or their daddy giving them a bottle or changing their nappy made me feel uneasy.
I mean, we’re their parents. It’s our job to do those things. Nobody else’s!
But…
We needed a break.
Having twins is hard work, especially in the early days.
There’s no shame in asking for help.
You’ll find yourself asking if you can cope, if it gets easier and it does!
Trust me it really does!
Our twins are two now and although they have their moments it’s not as hard as it used to be!
They feed themselves pretty much most of the time! They sleep better, not brilliantly, but better!
Plus they can talk – granted sometimes when being bossed around by a two year you may wish they couldn’t talk – but they can tell you what’s wrong so it has it’s positives!
Our twins love each other so much too!
They chase and tickle each other. If one is hiding the other wants to know they are!
They hold hands and play together.
A friend for life.
It’s tough some days, but totally worth it!
Do you have twins? What are your top tips for the early days?
21 Comments
Beth
June 26, 2014 at 6:22 am
I love the positivity here! Too many focus on how hard it can be but already with my girls at 1 the moments where they interact and laugh with each other melts my heart. Feel very lucky to have twins – it's a great club!!
Victoria MyLittleLBlog
June 26, 2014 at 8:30 am
Seems like you were "tested" a lot after their arrival, my cousin had twins, i wasnt there when she gave birth but mum told me that she was an emotional wrack at time as she had to breast feed them at the same time and didnt have any sleep at all, but now they are 3 years old and are 2 adventurous little boys. My cousin also said that when she was asked my someone how do you cope with twins or is it hard, just like you she always said "no"
Mummyofboygirltwins
June 26, 2014 at 8:37 pm
Wow amazing!! You've come so far!! Mine were born at 36+3days and were good weights so went straight home. It has been fab, exciting and magical but so tough too. Mine are nearly two and it's still hard (some days are testing!) but having two at once is just amazing!!!!! Great post x x
mypetitcanard
June 27, 2014 at 7:31 am
This was such an insightful post. A friend of mine is having twins and I dont really know what advice to give her. Of course I can share my experiences from having my daughter, but I suspect having twins will be a completly different ball game! I think I will be sending her to your blog to have a read 🙂
Slave to my Toddler
June 27, 2014 at 8:25 am
The thought of Twins has always terrified me but your lovely post shows that it doesn't have to mean doom and gloom for several years, I guess you cope because you have to and looking after 2 becomes the norm- you just have to do everything twice! The double teething doesn't sound too joyous though! But I guess that's just for a relatively short time! I think the idea of having a soulmate from the moment your conceived is amazing! The pic at the top is so sweet! And they sound like lovely girls! 🙂 #PoCoLo X
Pinkyprincess
June 27, 2014 at 10:06 am
What a journey! And what beautiful newborn twins! #binkylinky
Hannah – Budding Smiles
June 27, 2014 at 2:37 pm
I think it's great that you can be honest about the fact that it can be tough, whilst also appreciating the amazing joys. Your girls are so beautiful and asking for help is such a positive thing xx #binkylinky
Kim Carberry
June 27, 2014 at 8:13 pm
Such a great positive post!! The thought of having twins scare me…They're gorgeous x
You Baby Me Mummy
June 27, 2014 at 9:48 pm
I cannot imagine having twins, we struggle enough with one some days x
Sara Murray
June 28, 2014 at 8:04 am
If I'm honest the thought of twins always scared me a little, but this is a wonderfully positive post. Being a parent is hard sometimes, but it is absolutely the best job in the world xx #PoCoLo
Victoria Welton
June 28, 2014 at 2:13 pm
So beautiful. I had better be careful what I wish for but I would love to have twins. Thank you for linking to PoCoLo 🙂 x
Kate Thompson
June 28, 2014 at 6:08 pm
Beautiful. Our twins had two older brothers with school runs etc which made life tougher, and both had chronic illness and were FTT for 8 months so the first 6 months were horrendous! #PoCoLo
Rachel @ Parenthood Highs and Lows
June 29, 2014 at 11:51 am
Having one baby is hard at times, so two must be even harder! But double the fun! #binkylinky
PuzzlePieceLife
June 29, 2014 at 12:31 pm
My boyfriends best friend has just announced she's expecting twins, i've always been in awe of twins and the connection they have! I'm so excited for her and so jealous. You've reminded us how hard she might find it, although double the miracle, it's easy to forgot it's double the lack of sleep too! x
Lucie Aiston
June 29, 2014 at 1:13 pm
Awww I really admire you! Twins are so special! 🙂 Wait til they hit their teens!! HA! xxx #BinkyLinky
Katie Humphrey
June 29, 2014 at 11:14 pm
My twins are 13 now, your post takes me back to those early days of feeling like you are doing nothing more than existing! Those first six months are really hard. But as they get older, in some ways having two is easier (most people think I'm mad for saying that!)
The one thing that made my life a million times easier was learning that it was okay to sit in between their rocker chairs and feed them both a bottle at the same time. There was less crying from all of us and considering it took them an hour to drink a few ounces, there was a lot more time to go around! #BinkyLinky
Super Busy Mum
July 2, 2014 at 12:55 pm
having one baby is a tough job, so I could never imagine growing and taking care of two! But how beautiful are they!! Such a lovely post, thanks so much for linking up with #MMWBH xx
Catriona Stephen
July 2, 2014 at 1:12 pm
This is a lovely post too read. I love how your not scared to mention the hard times, and also mention how great the good times are. I think it's very hard as a parent of one to comprehend what it must be like having two, but this post lets you understand a little bit what it must be like!
Tas D
July 2, 2014 at 4:32 pm
Love this post – it does always sound like hard work but i think its double the reward too isn't it? They look so tiny in their little cubicles but they have obviously thrived under you both. xx
Loving life with little ones
July 3, 2014 at 8:56 pm
I was once a nanny to triplets and everything seemed to be like a constant roundabout, when I had my eldest having one was a doddle after having three. I am glad it is getting easier now that they are a bit more independant, lovely pictures #pocolo
Oh so amelia
July 3, 2014 at 9:15 pm
I find it hard enough looking after one I have no idea how I would cope with two, I really do admire you. Great post! xx