Being a better parent: The mindful way
This is my second post on this topic. To read my first post, please click here.
Just to give you a brief overview if you didn’t read my last post. Mindful parenting is all about being in the present, taking time to think and responding without judgment instead of reacting.
Too many people nowadays are distracted by their mobile phones. This spans across most generations. From children to teenagers and adults of all ages it seems that social media has become a way of life. A way of life that no-one can live without.
I love social media. I think it’s great. You can speak to millions of people all across the world, from any walk of life and talk about anything you want.
I use social media in my everyday life to connect with friends and family via Facebook and I even use social media in my job. Obviously I am a blogger which entails a certain amount of social interaction. Whether that be responding to tweets, emails, messages via Facebook or comments via Instagram, I like to think I am fairly up to date when it comes to social media.
Having said that, I also hate social media!
You may be wondering how can I love and hate something at the same time? Well here’s the thing. As great as social media is to chat to your long lost Aunt in South America about your pet cat, Barny, it has taken something, that in my opinion is precious, away from our children.
I am aware that this is the technological age and that tablets and smart phones are the way forward. I am aware of that and I know that this is the world my children will grow up surrounded by, but it appears to me that we are losing the ability to socialise with one another face to face.
This goes as far as to include gaming. Xbox, Playstation, Nintendo, whatever your platform of choice is, I can guarantee that over half of our population of children are sitting in their bedrooms on a hot, sunny day playing a first person shooter or role playing game online with their friends.
Some people may say that’s a good thing. If it gets them off the streets and away from crime and graffiti then why are we complaining? Shouldn’t children be seen and not heard?
I’m in the opposite camp and would much rather see children outdoors, playing with their friends in the fresh air. If my children want to play computer games or go on the computer I’m not going to stop them from doing that, but I will set time limits on how long they spend on the computer. I wouldn’t let them spend hours upon hours glued to a TV or computer screen.
I myself have had to reign in my social media habits. I came to realise a few weeks ago that I was spending far too much time on my phone, replying to emails and tweets. I even use an app on my phone to write blog posts. In fact I can do everything from my phone.
I have known for a long time that I spend too much time on my phone, but it’s not until a few weeks ago that I decided to do something about it. I’ve always felt guilty about telling my children to wait whilst I just finish typing up an email and I’ve decided that I shouldn’t be making my children wait for my attention. I should be putting that email off until a more suitable time.
I am being in the present. With my children. I am giving them 100% of my attention. I am becoming a better parent.
I am listening to them.
I am watching them.
I am thinking about what we are all doing and how that makes us all feel.
I am responding in a way in which I have given the situation a lot of thought. I am not reacting.
My children are happier. I am happier. I have a spring in my step and a smile on my face.
I want my children to be happy and to remember me as a mum who would always dedicate her time to her children. Not a mum who was always on the phone.
I’m a very organised person. I know what I will be doing every day of the week. That’s not to say I’m not spontaneous though. I love shooting off somewhere on the spur of the moment!
I tend to plan daily activities for my children to do with me. That’s if we’re not going to play or music group. For example I’ll plan to go to the park if it’s a nice or stay indoors and do some messy play if it’s raining.
I am playing and interacting with my children and that’s how it should be.
Growing up to me should be about spending time together as a family doing fun things together. Not sitting in a room with each family member glued to a laptop, phone or gaming device.
My childhood was spent mainly outdoors. In the garden in the summer, even in the winter. Making dens, climbing trees and riding bikes. I want the traditional childhood to make a comeback!
I want my children to have the traditional childhood!
I love my children more than anything in the world and I feel so close to them. I’ve always wanted to be a mum. I’m a very maternal person and I miss my children like you wouldn’t believe when I am not with them.
I realise this has turned into a rather long post, so I’ll leave it there for now, but I’ll just leave you with one final thing…
What better gift to give our children, than our presence.
