Mary's Donor Egg Journey: Part 2
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| Image courtesy of noppasinw/freedigitalphotos.net |
To read part 1, please click here.
Another London rainy day, but I have sunshine in my heart as I write the follow-up to the first part of our latest TTC journey.
We had a wedding to attend on the weekend prior to flying to Malaga on the Monday – I was panicking all week about packing bags, meds, money, passports, travel insurance and that my OH (other half) was sorted. But it all went well. I got everything done in hyperspeed! I was feeling pretty tired on meds by the evening so we left the wedding at about 9pm. I actually had two glasses of champers and a glass of red. I hadn’t drunk in such a long time, I really enjoyed it!
Our flight was midday on Monday, and by the time we arrived, got our bags and picked up the car at Malaga airport and sorted ourselves out, we managed to get to the clinic in good time for my scan that evening to check that the lining was doing what it was meant to! I was a little concerned about this scan as I had been having strange twinges for a whole week before and was thinking the worst, either my fibroid (sat in the neck of the womb) had grown immensely or that they had multiplied. The scan revealed a ‘beautiful lining’ as my Doctor stated and the fibroid had only grown 2mm and still not anywhere near anything important.
Stress 1 OVER!
The egg collection was on the Weds and we made the most of the time that we had that first week to go to waterparks and general sight-seeing (and I had a glass of wine! Would be a crime not to on holiday!). Arriving on the Weds, I realised that I had completely forgotten to worry about if they were able to get any eggs! This means that holiday mode had set-in and I was already brain-dead. I was so glad to not worry for once in my life though. Luckily for us they had got 13 eggs from my donor and were confident that most were mature. YES!
The fertilisation call on the Thursday seemed to take FOREVER – we were absolutely shocked though, a whopping 12 eggs were mature out of the 13 and 11 had fertilised. The ET was still booked for the Saturday and they would call with any updates on the Friday. Friday arrived and I got a call confirming my appointment time, just to note that this clinic doesn’t state that you can’t wear deodorant, nail varnish or all the other requirements that I have had with UK clinics. I guess everywhere works so differently, I was prepared though with my natural body wash and a crystal deodorant thing (which I am NOT using now).
Saturday came round at lightning speed and we arrived at the clinic just on time, we managed to get lost walking there! We were dressed in surgical clothes (which my OH looked hilarious in), we were shown into a room with a bed and TV – the doctor joined us and showed us our 2 embryos. One perfect looking 8-cell and the other a perfect looking 7-cell! The doctor was really happy with the shape and formations of the cells and how quickly they had developed. We were then taken into the surgery, where I had the transfer (note, I had to have an empty bladder rather than full one). The doctor referred to the embryos as ‘my babies’ which made it seem even more real! It was such a touching moment, and one I will never forget, in fact I remember a couple of tears sliding down my cheeks. After the transfer they lifted me onto the bed and I laid there for half hour resting (not had that before either!).
Then we consulted with the doctor again, who advised on drugs and best practise going forwards for the next few weeks, no swimming, BD or lifting anything heavy – relaxing but not laying down as such to keep the blood flowing. We left feeling quite uplifted and grateful that we choose this clinic for our treatment.
The next few days were a bit of a blur, I had a very heavy feeling in my uterus on the night of the transfer and a terrible head cold (I forgot to mention this earlier, as soon as I arrived in Spain I started sneezing and coughing!), I was terrified that I would sneeze one of the blighters out! We relaxed and chilled out as much as possible for the Saturday and Sunday, with a view to do some light sight-seeing on the Monday. We were of course anxious to see how many embryos made it to go in the freezer – and boy did we wait for this news, I was checking my phone every 2 seconds! I decided at one point to check my emails and they had emailed me there rather! (note – be very clear to a clinic how you want to be contacted, they had various contacts for me, I should have just said call me only!). From the 9 remaining embryos we had a glorious 6 that made it to blast, they froze Grade A and B embryos, at this stage I do not know how many were Grade A or B.
So the final hurdle and stress were over and we took in more sights of Southern Spain, which really impressed me, the real Spain rather than the tourist traps, and it’s so beautiful. Flew back to the second half of a non-eventful first week in the all-consuming 2WW, I had a lot of bloating, watery discharge and vivid dreams, other than that not much else. The end of our holiday was in sight, and also the realisation that the 2nd part of the 2WW and the day of reckoning was even closer.
On the Sunday night in the UK I had a strange stringy brown on wiping, and again the next night a few more which looked black in colour and of course the panicking started, I was crying to my OH and he was still so hopeful. The Weds night I wiped some red, and thought that absolutely was it for me, and the show was over. I cried and just couldn’t believe how life could be so cruel and that me and my OH just didn’t deserve this after all we had been through on this journey, it’s not the money (although that’s quite considerable) but the mental and physical anguish, which many on a long journey of ttc can totally understand.
Thurs morning, the brown and red has disappeared altogether. This gave me a little hope that the brown really could have just been implantation bleeding as my clinic had advised after I had hurriedly emailed them after the first sighting on Sunday night. Then a chat with a colleague at work, plus many Twitter friends, (Thurs was my first day back in the office), comforted me, apparently my colleagues sister after an IUI had odd bleeding, not like a normal period, but brown and sludgy like mine. This actually gave me hope that I had a chance, a real chance that this could happen. If only I could last out that day with no more bleeding, then there’s a possibility.
Our Spanish clinic required a blood test, and it was scheduled for the 10th at a nearby fertility clinic (my local GP and hospital only do urine tests) – so off we trotted and both felt quite confident. I would like to add that this is the only time we have ever felt confident of results in our 3.5 year ttc journey. We had the blood drawn and had to wait till 2pm for the results which were to be emailed to me, and then I had to email them onto Spain for analysis. The local clinic said that they would be unable to advise the result, simply just do the blood test. No problem.
2pm arrived and still nothing, I was on email and knicker watch, ensuring the dreaded AF hadn’t arrived too! Well I had to wait for 50 mins to get an email stating ‘Here are your results and congratulations!’ WHAT!!!!!! WHAT!!!!!! At this stage, my heart exploded out of my chest and I had a bawling/crying attack for about 10 minutes, after composing myself I forwarded the results to Spain to ask them if it was true, am I really pregnant? I phoned my OH to tell him, and he was sure I was wrong and to wait to see what Spain say. So I did that, and they confirmed our thoughts, YES!!!! A whopping 586 BETA for the first bloods, they were sure I could be having twins. WHAT!!!! WHAT!!!!
That was yesterday, and since we have both been in shock, happy, and just so grateful. We shared the news with close family and friends (and my Twitter ladies) and have a doctor’s appointment for next Tues to arrange my ante-natal care. I am half thinking about going private as a 41 year old with potentially twins may be a high risk – first pregnancy etc. I will see what the costs are and weigh it all up. It just may be worth that expense.
So – the journey (I hope) is finally finished, I do understand this is very early days and anything can happen. But for this moment, I am going to cherish it for the first time in my life I have a BFP. I am holding out on my urine tests till tomorrow.
I am so looking forward to this next step in our lives together. 2014 is going to be a very big year, a house move, our wedding and our own little munchkin/s – what a fantastic year. Thanks to all that are reading, and if you are still on the journey I hope that this gives you hope and that you should never give up on your dreams.
Miracles can happen.
