Have you lost weight? A compliment or a hurtful comment?

Have you lost weight?

Wow, you’ve lost so much weight!

You’re doing so well on your diet!

Have you seen the twins mum? She’s lost loads of weight!

I’m sure one biscuit won’t hurt! (Said in a sarcastic tone)

These are just some of the things that people have said to me over the last few weeks, and I’m feeling a tad conflicted by it all.

On one hand I wanted people to notice that I’d lost weight. I guess in a way I wanted to hear people telling me how well I’ve done and how much weight I’ve lost, because it was almost reassuring me that I was actually losing weight.

Sometimes when I look at the number on the scales and then look at my body in the mirror, my mind has trouble making sense of it all. The scales may show a loss, but when I look at my body I don’t see it, so when people tell me how much weight I’ve lost, I should be pleased that they can see it right?

I have lost over a stone so I can now start to see the changes showing on my body, but I’m still another stone away from my target.

I feel more confident because I feel more comfortable in my clothes. They’re no longer tight, my tummy no longer sticks out as much as it used to, even though it still sticks out, just not as much as before.

I feel healthier because of all the exercise I’ve been doing – running, strength training and cycling. I feel stronger, more motivated, more focused, but there’s a problem.

All of those things that people have said to me or to one another, makes me wonder about how people viewed me pre-weight loss.

When I hear people saying things like, wow, you’ve lost so much weight, I wonder was I really that big to begin with? Did they think I was overweight, fat even, before I started to lose weight?

I know I shouldn’t care what other people think. Obviously it’s purely a vanity/ego thing, but the fact that people are discussing my weight loss with others and passing comments about my weight, I can’t help feel a little self conscious.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m super proud of how far I’ve come. I mean at the beginning of last year I struggled to run 1 kilometre so the fact that I can run 8 kilometres, even 10 kilometres on a good day, makes me feel motivated, happy and strong. I’ve even entered a half marathon and am currently in training for this.

Comments such as, ‘one biscuit won’t hurt’ also annoy me. No, it won’t hurt me, but when I’ve worked so hard to get to where I am today, I don’t want to indulge in a biscuit just to make you feel happier that you’re not the only one eating biscuits.

Don’t get me wrong, I like a cheat meal, but it’ll be on my terms.

It’s taken over two months for me to completely change my eating habits and it was bloody hard. I used to over eat. I’d eat when I wasn’t hungry and simply because I was bored.

Now, I only eat when I’m hungry.

I’ve learnt so much about my body over the past two months and I know that I want to take better care of myself.

I want to be healthy.

I want to be fit and strong, not just physically, but also mentally.

I want to be a role model to my children and I want to live a long life. I want to see my children grow old and by leading a healthy and active life I’m hoping that can be achieved.

My mum died when I was 18. She had cancer. She didn’t get the chance to see me grow up, get married and have children of my own. She had cancer through no fault of her own.

Why would I want to risk an early death from over-eating and being a coach potato when I know what the impact of losing a parent so young is like? I don’t want that for my children.

Yes, it’s great that people ‘compliment’ me on my weight loss, but it can also make me feel pretty self-conscious too. I don’t need validation from anyone to show me how far I’ve come.

By all means compliment me on how well I’m doing with my running, because I could talk all day, every day about that, but weight loss is such a personal, sensitive subject, I’m not sure I’m comfortable talking about it out loud!