First Nursery Visit
A few weeks ago I attended a parents session at what will be our twins nursery school. The aim of the session was to allow parents the chance to have a look around the nursery and also to learn more about the nursery and what our children would be doing during their time there.
The nursery also arranged for a children’s stay and play session which means that we could leave our children at the nursery for an hour with some of the other children that would also be in their group. Unfortunately we were on holiday during this time which means we were unable to take the girls.
I contacted the school to let them know and they arranged for me to take the girls in upon on return so that they could have a snack with some of the children. I wasn’t sure if I’d be staying with the girls or if I was leaving them on their own, so I thought it would be a good idea to call in the day before they were due to go in to find out.
We’d been to a playgroup over the road so I left a bit earlier than usual and walked over to the school with the girls. It was the end of the school day so all of the children had left.
I’m so glad that I walked over because the teacher told me that the day I was meant to be taking the girls in was their sports day which meant it would be even busier than usual so probably not a good day for me to take them in. I had a feeling the teacher had forgotten that I was due to bring them in, but anyway she asked if she could just show the girls around there and then. I said ok, although in hindsight I wish I’d arranged for them to go in when there were children there.
Anyway the teacher was lovely and she asked the girls what their names were. The girls were very shy. The stared at the floor and didn’t answer her. R was on the verge of tears so I had to reassure her that I wasn’t leaving her at the nursery there and then, that we were just having a look around.
I was quite surprised at just how quiet and shy the girls were. I imagined they would be a little shy, but I thought they would have answered with their names when the teacher asked.
When we left the nursery I stopped outside to give them both a big cuddle and to reassure them that they’d like nursery.
The whole experience has left me feeling even more anxious about leaving them at nursery than I was already feeling. Don’t get me wrong I’m so glad that they have each other, but they’ve never been looked after away from home. They’ve always been cared for by either me or my husband or a relative in their own home. They’ve never been to nursery.
I take them to play groups and on play dates, but I’m always there with them. I’m trying my best to prepare them by talking to them about it and reading books to them about starting nursery, but it’s making me very anxious and I don’t want them to rub off on them.
I don’t think it is as I always talk positively about nursery to them.
The nursery don’t do settling in sessions, although the teacher did say that I could stay as long as needed on the first visit, but I wouldn’t want to stay too long in case the girls think I’m always going to stay.
Why is this so tough?
Do you have any tips about how to help children with the idea of starting nursery and leaving mummy and daddy for the first time?
34 Comments
Anita Cleare
July 16, 2015 at 7:27 am
Try not to worry from just one visit. Change can be very daunting for everyone, even when it is positive. Make sure you keep the rest of their routine the same so they can see it is just one part of their world that is changing. Acknowledge that they feel nervous and let them know it is normal to feel nervous when we do new things. But give them some ideas f how to make themselves feel better – e.g. "When I feel nervous I take 10 deep breaths or I think about something nice."
Emily
July 18, 2015 at 8:54 pm
Thanks Anita. I don't think my feelings come across as I wouldn't my girls to pick up on my anxieties. I'm after a few sessions they'll settle in. I guess it's fear of the unknown at the moment!
Sarah Howe – Run Jump Scrap
July 17, 2015 at 11:11 am
This must be tough. I think bottom line it probably will be a little odd and hard at first. You are doing a fab job at preparing them but like us going into a new job it will take a bit of time. My daughter took a week or so to settle at her nursery but now loves it!! I would keep chilled as best you can and just be so positive. It will rub off and think they have each other too so already got a friend xx #binkylinky
Emily
July 18, 2015 at 8:55 pm
Hi Sarah, thanks for your comment. It's going to be very hard! I just want to keep them home forever! Thanks hun x
Carly Lawrence
July 18, 2015 at 7:37 am
I think its good that children are a little shy at first, it means they want to suss people and the environment out first before they let the barrier down. My little boy is always upset when I leave him at nursery but by the time I pick him up he is beaming and gushing about how much fun he has had.
Emily
July 18, 2015 at 8:55 pm
Thanks Carly. It's reassuring to hear that he's always happy when you return to him x
Reimer Ruby
July 18, 2015 at 8:50 am
I'm actually started to feel the same although my little girl won't start nursery til next year. This is just one of our little worries as a mum, isn't it? Hopefully, your little twins will get to settle nicely in their nursery and make new friends… #binkylinky
Emily
July 18, 2015 at 8:56 pm
It's hard isn't it. I hope they'll settle quickly, I just know the first few times will probably be hard for all of us. Thanks for your comment x
Jenny Eaves
July 18, 2015 at 5:23 pm
That's tough that they don't do settling in sessions, most here do at least 2. Remember that they will always have each other there, so hopefully they can help each other settle in. I'm sure it will be easier when there are other children to watch and copy and play with. Good luck! Xx
Emily
July 18, 2015 at 8:57 pm
They said I could stay for as long as needed on the first session, but I don't think I'd want to stay long in case our girls think I'd stay for the same amount of time next time if that's makes sense. I wouldn't want to prolong it, but then again I don't just want to walk out either. Thanks for your comment x
Mrs Tubbs
July 18, 2015 at 5:27 pm
Keep telling them that it's going to be good – new friends, new things, becoming big girls etc – and try not to let them know you've got mixed feelings or fuss. IME, they'll take their cue from you and if you're chilled, that'll help. Hopefully they'll be the ones who settle quickly and make new friends. Good luck! #binkylinky
Emily
July 18, 2015 at 8:58 pm
I keep reassuring them and talking to them about how much fun it'll be etc. Thanks for your comment x
allpastmidnight
July 18, 2015 at 7:42 pm
It seems a bit odd that they don't do settling in sessions, to be honest. What if a parent of a child with autism wanted to take their child there? There would need to be some form of transitioning… Hmm. Anyway, it might just be that your girls were taken aback by it being so sudden and out of the blue. I wouldn't worry about it too much just yet. Chances are that when it comes down to it they will settle perfectly fine and you will wonder what you were worried about.
Emily
July 18, 2015 at 8:59 pm
I imagine they'd look at individual cases on a case by case basis. It's a good school and the teachers are lovely, I'm just anxious as the girls have always been at home. Thanks for your comment 🙂
Claire Ridewood
July 19, 2015 at 6:23 am
It's always so tough when something changes for little people… for mummy too! It does get easier I promise and before you know it they will be running in forgetting to say good bye! I would just talk with them lots about all the fun things they will do there, maybe even walk/drive past a few time and let them get excited about pointing out where they are going to go! Thank you for linking up with #busydoinglife
Emily
July 21, 2015 at 7:53 pm
Hi Claire, thanks for your comment. It is tough. It's a big change for all us, especially the girls. I'm sure it does get easier x
Lizzie Somerset
July 19, 2015 at 7:42 am
Settling in sessions are a really good way to get the children used to a new setting so I'm not sure why they don't offer this really. I had settling in sessions at both nursery & preschool. Might be worth asking why not? Once they've been a few times though they soon get used to the new routine, my kids now run in without a backward glance! It's tough because you care xo
Emily
July 21, 2015 at 7:54 pm
Hi Lizzie, thanks for your comment. I'm not sure why they don't do settling in sessions. They did say I could stay as long as I wanted the first visit, but I wouldn't the girls to think I'd stay for the same time then for their next session. I might give them a call and ask x
newcastle familylife
July 19, 2015 at 8:30 am
How strange they don't do settling in sessions i thought that most nursery's would offer them. My two year old starts nursery just for two hours twice a week in September and i am feeling nervous too , although we visited when there was a session on so she just ran straight off to play with the paints. I bet the girl's end up loving nursery after a few weeks , my oldest hated it when she first started but she soon settled in and ended up loving it after a week or two xx
Emily
July 21, 2015 at 7:55 pm
It is strange isn't it. I'm sure when they get used to it they'll be fine, but I guess it's just the not knowing x
Ali
July 19, 2015 at 12:21 pm
These 1sts are always hard aren't they. I'm sure they'll be fine. It's a whole new experience which got you all, best of luck x #binkylinky
Emily
July 21, 2015 at 7:55 pm
They are! Very hard! Thanks Ali x
Nigel
July 19, 2015 at 3:56 pm
It's time they grew up stood on their own two feet off to school I say love you xx
Emily
July 21, 2015 at 7:55 pm
Haha, oh husband of mine you are funny. I say home schooling is the way forward x
Ickle Pickle
July 19, 2015 at 6:41 pm
Oh bless them – I am sure they will be fine. Pickle is not very happy with playgroup really, but he has to get used to it. I hate it! Kaz x
Emily
July 21, 2015 at 7:56 pm
I hope so. I think there will be tears when I leave, but I hope they'll soon stop after I leave and that they have fun playing x
zoe dunn
July 20, 2015 at 7:26 am
It is hard. I decided on a Dr Phil tough love approach with my boys. I didn't do a settling in session. They went, like your girls, for a look round then the week after I took them for the first time. I put on a brave face walked them in showed them where to put lunch box and coats etc then said give mummy a kiss now it's time for me to go. They were upset but I was firm and then walked out. I could hear them crying for me which was hard but after a week of doing this they were skipping in on their own. When I spoke to the nursery about it after they said they find when parents take this approach the kids tend to get past it quicker but if you stay and try and talk them round quite often they just become more agitated and it takes longer. Everyone's kids are different and only you can know whats best for your girls but I found this is what worked for me. Good luck #busydoinglife
Emily
July 21, 2015 at 7:57 pm
Hi Zoe, thanks for your comment. I think I'm going to do that. I think if I prolong it, it will make is worse. I'll give them a quick kiss and cuddle reassure them that they'll be fine and that I'll be back later and then leave. I'll probably be the one crying after I've left. It's tough isn't it x
Katie Haydock LifeOnVista
July 21, 2015 at 7:30 am
I haven't done this yet but I'm dreading it already.
It is hard to imagine someone else other than a relative caring for my Little Miss… They have always looked after her in familiar surroundings too. But kids are nothing if not resilient and they'll soon love it, I'm sure of it 🙂
#twinkytuesday
Emily
July 21, 2015 at 7:58 pm
Hi Katie, thanks for your comment. It is hard to imagine, to know someone else is looking after them, not me. Thanks hun x
Fionnuala
July 22, 2015 at 8:49 am
That sounds hard. Ours had a three week settling in programme, so I'm afraid I don't really have any tips for you. I suppose just try and help them settle in as best you can and reassure them that you will be coming back for them each day. Remind them that they have each other.
#busydoinglife
Fionnuala from http://www.threesonslater.blogspot.com
Emily
July 22, 2015 at 6:26 pm
Hi Fionnuala, thanks for your comment. I wish they did have settling sessions. I'm not sure why they don't. I'm going to see if I can get hold of them, although I may have to wait until the next term starts as it's the summer holidays now. I'm glad they have each other, that definitely makes me feel more at ease x
Something Crunchy Mummy
July 22, 2015 at 9:10 am
I know exactly how your feeling. I was very nervous about Finley going and he got on great – he settled in fab, we have had a few wobbles but it helped that the staff were great. I am very worried about Noah going as he is like your girls and won't talk to people they don't know. In general life this is good as we don't want them talking to strangers but we want them to be confident at nursery. It will all work out and they have each other to reassure each other and hold each other's hands #binkylinky xx
Emily
July 22, 2015 at 6:26 pm
Hi Kirsty, it's great to hear that Finley settled in so well. It's reassuring to know and hopefully our girls will settle just as quickly. Fingers crossed x