What is a mum?

First of all – Happy Mothers Day to all of you wonderful mummies!

Today would have been my mums 60th birthday. Sadly she’s no longer here as she passed away almost 10 years ago aged 50. She had ovarian cancer.

Today I’ll be with my children, husband and mother-in-law. We’ll share a tasty lunch and most likely talk about the same things we always talk about, but we’ll all be together and happy that way.


I was talking to our children, R and M on Friday. They were talking to me about their nanna – my husband’s mum.

I told them both that nanna would be coming over for Sunday lunch today and I explained to them both that it was Mothers day and that their nanna was their daddies mummy.

R and M nodded their heads in agreement then they asked me where my mummy was.

My mum passed away almost 10 years ago now. She had ovarian cancer and not a day goes by where I don’t think of her.

How do I explain this to R and M?

I tell them both that my mum is in a place called heaven and that heaven is in the sky.

M asked why.

I said that my mummy was ill and that the doctors couldn’t help so my mum went to live in heaven where she would be happy forever.

M said that she wanted my mummy to come down from the sky so that she could play with her.

I told M that mummy couldn’t come down, but that I could show her a picture of my mummy.

R was quiet throughout this conservation up until this point until R asked why my mummy was in the sky.

I repeated the reasons why, explaining that, that was where my mummy lived now.

I showed them both a picture of mummy and they both smiled at her.

Although my mum isn’t here anymore I’ll always make sure that R and M know of her.


What is a mum?

A mum to me is someone who is always there.

Someone who tries their best and yet most likely always feel guilty because they feel as though they could try harder.

I think all mums feel that way sometimes.

That maybe they should have played with their children more that day. Read to their children more or maybe should have taken their children outdoors instead of keeping them inside that day.

To me a mum is someone who takes the time to listen to her children and rather than jump in feet first without all the facts, a mum stays calm and remains patient. She doesn’t raise her voice, but instead asks why something has happened or why a child feels the way they do then tries to calm a situation down with reassuring words, calm cuddles and smiles.

Of course we’re all human so it’s only natural that sometimes we raise our voices or say that we’re just a bit too tired to play hide and seek again.

It’s ok though, because your children will most likely not remember all the times that you said no or raised your voice, but they’ll remember the times you said yes. The times that you baked cakes with them, read with them, walked with them and sat with them.

Whatever you do today – have a happy Mothers Day!

A Poem For My Mum

Although you’re no longer here
I feel your presence all around
Standing alongside me
Watching what I do

You’d be so happy to see
I’m a mum too

I hope I make you proud
I hope I’m as good as a mum as you

R and M have asked where you are
Where’s your mummy, mummy they say
I tell them you’re in the sky

M said she thinks you’re running
I don’t know, but it’s a nice thought
Maybe you’re running through flowers
A body fit for purpose
No more cancer, just happy healthy smiles

R thinks you’d like my Easter cake
I think you’d like it too!

M sheds a tear when she says
“I want your mummy to come down”
I tell her that you can’t

I say you live in heaven now, but it’s ok
You’re happy there and that’s what matters

I tell her I’m here to stay
I won’t be going away

They ask if you live in a house
A house made of clouds

I smile and nod, holding back the tears

I show them a photo of you
They both smile at you, stroke your face and stare

I wonder if they see me in you
Maybe even themselves

Although you’re no longer here
I feel your presence all around
Standing alongside me
Watching what I do

5 thoughts on “What is a mum?

  1. Ah you've set me off! Beautiful post and a lovely way of describing to your little ones about their other Nanny who I am sure wishes she could be here to see them. I hope you have had a lovely Mother's day and can remember her with smiles. Thanks so much for linking with #MaternityMondays

  2. Massive hugs. Anniversaries like this are so hard. It's great that you are talking to your kids about your mum, even though it must be very difficult. However, remembering with a smile is the best possible way to honour your mum's memory #MaternityMondays

  3. Big hugs to you, and thank you for sharing this with us. You handled the questions about your mum so so well and I'm sure she'd be very proud of you and the little ones 🙂 #MaternityMondays xx

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