I’ve lost my way, but now I’m found: Mindful Parenting

Over the past few weeks, I’ve felt as though I’ve lost my way a bit when it comes to being a mum. If I’m honest, I feel as though I’ve been a bit of a crappy mum.

I’ve not had as much patience as I should have, I’ve shouted more and instead of taking time to think about situations, I’ve just reacted without much thought or judgement.

Of course, that’s easy to do and we all act this way from time to time, but I’ve been feeling as though it’s become a regular occurrence as of late.

Instead of cherishing the moments I have with my children, I’ve been thinking of other things. An example of this is bedtime.

Although our girls are almost five years old, my husband and I will lay in bed with our girls until they go to sleep. It’s something we’ve always done, so I guess it’s just what our girls have become used to. Lately, R, has been fidgeting a lot at night and taking longer than usual to go to sleep. As such I’ve been losing my patience with her and have shouted at her to stay still and go to sleep.

Of course shouting at a child you’re trying to get to sleep, isn’t really very productive. In fact, it’s pretty counter-productive!

I mean, what am I missing out on by lying in bed with her for an extra 10, maybe even 15 minutes? Nothing really.

Back in 2014 I wrote a number of posts about mindful parenting (Mindful Parenting and Being a better Parent: The Mindful Way). I’ve found myself returning to re-read these posts and remind myself about what it is to be a mindful parent. I found this particular paragraph to be particularly helpful:

It’s a simple idea really, but putting it into practice takes exactly that. Practice. It’s about paying attention to the present, taking time to think and responding without judgement instead of reacting. Instead of enjoying what is going on at that particular moment, many parents, myself included, are guilty of letting our minds wander off somewhere else. Instead of focusing and paying attention, we’re thinking about what we have to do that day or worrying about something that’s really not worth worrying about. The effects of all this impact our children the most. We need to stop and slow down. Pay attention to what is going on and just let it happen.

Being mindful, doesn’t mean that you have to constantly play with your child all the time. I mean it’s important to let your children breathe and play on their own now and again. It helps to develop their confidence and independence. Just knowing that you’re there for your child when they want you to be there is reassuring, although at times it feels like I don’t get even a second to sit down!

So going forward I am going to try once again to be the mindful mum that I want to be. To be patient, to be kind, considerate and to think about what just happened without reacting and without judgement. To also think about how my words and actions impact upon my children.

I’ll put my phone away more, be more present and enjoy the time that we have together, as though nothing else in the world matters.

I don’t expect it to be easy, but I hope that by persevering and practising mindful parenting that I can become a less ‘shouty mum’ and more of a ‘considerate mum’.

What do you think?