Guest Post: Debating Baby Number 3

Todays guest post is by Beth who blogs at Plastic Rosaries.

I have two perfect daughters. This makes me one of the luckiest people in the world. Yet within weeks of number two being born I was thinking about number three. 

Three was my magic number. I always promised myself three children before 30, well, when I say always it was the dream ever since I realised how much having just one baby brought you.

I was never that girl who always wanted a husband and children. It was never not part of my plan, but it wasn’t a central part of it either. As soon as I had the first I was kind of hooked. I knew I had to do it again because I now knew how amazing it was to have one. Within months of having two I was contemplating the elusive number three. Since then, I have been vocal about my desire for a third child, I even pinpointed exactly when I planned to start trying to conceive and exactly how it would happen to fit in with my two girls as they are now.

Then it stopped.

I don’t know if it’s because my baby is now one and therefore no longer a baby or because I’m enjoying them together more (sometimes), but the overpowering urge to have another child is waning. It doesn’t mean I don’t want one, but it doesn’t feel like I have to have one anymore. Before I was very much resolute – I was having three children, whatever happens. Now I’m not sure.

My three before thirty goal was half to do with liking things to be organised and half to do with worries about future fertility. I know men can go on and on and on, but my partner is 16 years older than me and part of me feels it’s unfair to saddle him with very young children when he’s in his fifties. Of course that’d be his decision (he’s a long way of 50 yet), but it’s still one of those things that sticks in my mind.

I also don’t like to think I have to rush. I do admit it feels weird. 2013. I had a baby in 2011, another in 2012 and 2013 has been hard and quite empty. Now my youngest is one I am clinging to her baby traits – she’s happily still breastfeeding and I’m dreading that ending. Last time with my biggest girl I was already pregnant when we stopped feeding so this time it’ll feel a bit more final.

I think having two children very close together does make not make being pregnant or having a little baby weird. Maybe I’ll relax into it, as there definitely aren’t plans to try for another child for ages, if at all.

I’m almost asking a question here – how do you know when your family is complete when you have the option to keep on going? 

I know a lot of people don’t have the luxury of choice but when and how can you tell? Does it click one day or is this why some people end up with ten or more children? Is my family complete yet?