Photos of families on Facebook. Grandparents cuddling grandchildren. Mums like me, arm in arm with their mums walking down the street, chatting about their day and what they’re going to cook for dinner. Smiling, laughing, making memories. I envy you. Colleagues talking about their mums, their old bedrooms from when they were younger and reminiscing about times gone by. I envy you. Having lost mum many years ago, I can’t help but well up a little when I see other people with their mums, knowing that I’ll never have the chance to talk to mum again. Working in people’s homes,… [Read More]

The fading of time. A poignant post about losing mum to cancer and reflecting on memories that are fading all too fast…

May of this year marks 12 years since mums passing. She had ovarian cancer and died when she was just 50 years old. My sister and I were 18. It’s hard to think about what life would be like now if mum was still around. Actually, it’s pretty unbearable to think about. However I do often find myself thinking up things that I think we might have done together. We’d go shopping and try on ridiculous outfits then laugh at one another. We’d enjoy a spot of lunch and have a chat about our lives. I might even ask her… [Read More]

Grieving definitely doesn’t get any easier

In 2005 mum passed away. She left behind a husband and two daughters. She’d fought ovarian cancer for years. When she passed away people would tell me that this feeling of emptiness, loneliness and great sadness would gradually fade away into a terrible memory. I would get over it. The truth? I’ll never get over it. I mean how am I meant to get over it? It doesn’t make any sense. She was 50 years old. She had everything in front her. I resent elderly people moaning about their lives. You’re still alive! Enjoy it! Make the most of it!… [Read More]

The Perfect Family

My mum with her mum I don’t know if it’s just me reaching a certain point in my life or if it’s just me being too sentimental, thoughtful, sensitive even, but I have found myself doing a lot of thinking lately. Actually, I’m not even sure if ‘thinking’ is the correct word to use. Reflection? Pondering? Who knows? Life isn’t perfect, yet, I feel I have grown up in a perfect world. A bubble if you like. Yes, a big, fat, cushiony, soft, padded bubble. Does that even make sense? Am I babbling too much? Probably, but I need to… [Read More]

A letter to my 13 year old self

Me around 13 years old I recently read a post by Nicola (who blogs at Nicola…Life Through My Eyes) which I found really interesting. Nicola wrote a letter to her 15 year old self and it got me thinking about what I would say to myself now that I am older. I thought I would write a letter to my 13 year old self because at that age I found myself going through a range of different emotions and challenges. Here goes: Dear Emily, You are 13 years old and have the weight of the world on your shoulders. You are… [Read More]