I’m not, ‘not normal’ and neither are you!
Being a mum is the most important role in life that I have. Yes, I’m also a wife, which is on a par with motherhood in terms of the important roles in my life, but I’m also a sister, a daughter and a friend. However motherhood takes the highest position in my life.
Before I continue I just want to say that there is no right or wrong – which is why I’m writing this post. I’m not judging others, but simply expressing my feelings in the hopes that those in the same position as me will be able to identify with what I’m saying, but also in the hopes that those who are the opposite of me will see that just because I’m different, it doesn’t mean that I’m ‘not normal.’
So what on earth am I talking about?
My social life of course! I know many mums and dads and they all have different views on what being a parent is. None of their views are wrong and I actually find it quite fascinating and intriguing that everyone parents in a different way. There’s no one hard and fast rule that mums and dads have to abide by and that’s great to be honest, because I think the majority of us are just making it up as we go!
My husband and I used to go a lot pre-kids. We’d go to the cinema, music concerts, out for food, to see friends and also lots of other different things. Now that we have children, that’s all changed and we prefer to stay home in the evenings safe in the knowledge that our children are safely tucked up in their beds in the next room – although it’s not long before they join us in our bed for the night!
Some of my mum friends like to go out in the evenings and rope in a baby sitter or friends and family to share the childcare and I have no problem what-so-ever with this, but it’s just not for me.
Please don’t try to convince me that I need to leave my children at home with a babysitter, friend or family member so that I can go out for the night. I don’t feel the need to go out when my children in bed.
I manage to find enough time in the day to see friends when my children are with me and this is nice because it means the kids can all play together too. Of course, I have had the occasion night out, two,
I think since having children four years ago, but for me I like home.
Not only that, by the time my kids are in bed, I’m not very far behind them! I like to wind down on the sofa with a cup of tea, sat next to my husband whilst watching TV or reading a book and I’m not alone in this.
Charlotte who blogs at Welsh Mummy Blogs says:
I’m one of these mums, we have had one night away from our kids in almost four years, (wedding night), and I’ve had a few nights away from our eldest, but that was in hospital giving birth to our second so I don’t think that counts!
Kate who blogs at Family Fever says:
I never go out in the evenings or for days out with friends etc. It just doesn’t appeal, and I know that sounds odd, but I’d much rather be at home with the kids. I enjoy their company, and I honestly feel like I am the best person to look after them while they’re still small.
Jada from Unique Young Mum says:
I hate having Leo away from me. I can’t relax, never meet up with friends unless they come to me and even take him with me when I get my hair done – luckily my brother is my hair dresser so has free roam of my brother’s house and garden playing with my brothers two dogs.
On attempted date nights, I have palpitations, and worry so much I never enjoy myself, so now I have date nights at home when my little man is in bed, like last night for example, I made him dinner, bathed him etc, then when he was sleeping we ordered a takeaway, had a glass each and watched a movie. I was able to relax and enjoy my night as I knew my son was in his bed sleeping with me in the same house.
Hannah Fleming from Hi Baby Blog says:
I do the very odd time, but only when I’m pushed very hard to do so and even then it’s the cinema when L is asleep in my mums house. I just like knowing that she’s with me and safe even she’s asleep. If I had it my way I would never leave her to be honest. I enjoy being with her and I know she likes/needs.
Gine Potter from Skint Momma says:
I got married in November 2014 and we still haven’t gone on honeymoon. With two kids (aged 3 and 10 months), and the eldest with some learning difficulties, offers from baby sitters are few and far between!
Nights out are always family dinners at family restaurants. Days out are walks, trips to the farm or to the local park.
Nights in are always Disney movies and snuggles. I wouldn’t have it any other way! I’d rather spend my money on memories with my family than a hangover!
So, there we have it! I’m not ‘not normal’ and neither are you!
9 Comments
(Mostly) Yummy Mummy
April 21, 2016 at 6:12 am
Even after eighteen years and four children, I'm still 'not normal' but wouldn't change it for the world. I never understand why people seem to have such a problem with me not wanting to go out on the town? I certainly don't have a problem with people that do so it would be nice if there was less judgement the other 'not normal' way around too 😉
Charlotte Harding
April 21, 2016 at 7:13 am
Great post Emily, thanks for including my comment. I don't think there is anything wrong with parents who would rather stay home knowing that their kids are safe. I am one of these mums and I am proud. x
Mummy Fever
April 22, 2016 at 6:20 am
I am so glad I read this Emily as I am exactly the same and made to feel as though I am odd. We have friends who leave their children all the time but that's not me. On the odd occasion but nothing else and i'm happy with that – GREAT POST! #binkylinky
Mummy Melton
April 22, 2016 at 6:28 am
I never go out without Mini M, I work a lot & my time off I want to spend with him. If we go out we do it together. My friends are all in the same boat so when we do meet up its with the kids. Great post #binkylinky
Sarah Howe
April 22, 2016 at 6:42 am
I'm like you in the evenings: tend to stay in and chill. Not to fussed as I work and see friends in the day. But conversely I'm definitely not a mum who doesn't take breaks and date nights or weekends. I would hate to feel physically stressed to leave the gremlin and she has such a good relationship with my parents, she loves an overnight a stay with them xx thanks for hosting x
David Mellor
April 22, 2016 at 10:02 am
Nice post. Like you we did so much in our pre-kids days but we've found that we do an equal amount of stuff now…we've just adapted what we do or how we do it. For instance, having kids has certainly changed our evening routine and like you we prefer to be in when they are, but it hasn't stopped us going into the great outdoors for hikes or going to music festivals – we just take them and do it at a slightly different pace.
All about a Mummy
April 22, 2016 at 10:24 am
I'm not the complete opposite but I am somewhere in the middle. During the week I didn't go out much but I am part of a book club and we meet up once a month, I go to school PTA meetings and occasionally meet old work colleagues for dinner (they work during the day so can't meet during the day) I'm probably out a couple of times a month but Husband is home with the kids so I don't have any worries.
At the weekends it is a little different, Husband and I do have the odd date night every couple of months. Plus we seem to be constantly at weddings (no kids). My kids (4 and 2) love sleepovers at their grandparents and their cousins and we are lucky that we have lots of people who we trust to look after them. I've never used babysitting companies or services and if we didn't have such great family support we probably wouldn't go out as much. #twinklytuesday
Jeremy Barnes
April 22, 2016 at 4:12 pm
we try and go on "day dates" when we can. Have a grammy come over the afternoon and go out for an early dinner and some drinks. Gets us some time out and I can still be in bed at a reasonable hour. Sucks getting old
Maflingo.com
April 24, 2016 at 10:53 am
Everyone is different. We enjoy time with our girls (9 and 13) but we do also go out occasionally on an evening and have a retired couple who the girls know really well to babysit. We pay them in kind with a takeaway that they have with the kids and they all have a lovely time while we are out having a lovely time. Time as a family is super important but time as a couple is also super important to us too.