The older I become the more I look back on my life, and reflect on past experiences.
I was recently completing an online survey when the last question popped up asked which age bracket I fell into.
As I ticked the 25-34 year old box, I smiled.
I smiled because although I’m 31, soon to be 32, I like the fact that I’m getting older.
To me getting older means getting stronger, more knowledgable and caring less about what other people think.
The older I get, the more aware I am of how much time I have with my children.
It’s a bittersweet feeling.
My mum passed away when she was 50 years old from ovarian cancer. My sister and I were just 18 years old.
At that age we hadn’t really had the chance to get to know mum. I mean obviously we’d been in each other lives for 18 years, but for most of that time we were children.
We were immature and unappreciative of what we had. A mum. One who loved us very much.
If mum was still here I often wonder about the things we’d do together.
We’d probably go shopping together, for lunch together etc, but more than that, we’d be able to just sit and talk.
Talk about parenting, talk about my struggles when my own children were babies. I had no-one to talk to, and it felt awfully lonely at times. Having my mum around would have meant so much to me.
I wish I could ask her how she found raising twins (I’m a twin too).
I’d love to be able to just talk to her again. To pick up the phone or pop round for a quick catch up, but that’s never going to happen.
When I see people moaning about life, in particular about getting older, I can’t help thinking about how lucky they are. They have the chance to be around for their family and friends. To live life, breathe fresh air, feel the rain on their face etc. Mum doesn’t have that anymore, and it really is the little things in life that we should all be grateful for.
As per the title of this post, I truly believe that growing old is a privilege. Not everyone has the chance to grow old, but if you do, you need to grasp it with both hands and make the most of it. Stop saying no, and start living. Do the things you want to do. Put your phone away, look up and talk to your children, spend time with them, and create memories that you can all cherish when you’re older.
Sadly I have very few memories of my mum, but the ones I do have, I hold very dear to my heart, and will never forget them.
6 Comments
jeremy@thirstydaddy
November 14, 2018 at 1:59 am
Love it. I just had a birthday last week myself. I’ve got a few years on you, but this was on my mind as well
Katie
November 14, 2018 at 8:49 am
I often think this too, and its sad to say that I do feel jealous sometimes of my husband and his siblings relationship with their parents, they shopping and out for meals it is lovely but I often feel sad that we don’t have that opportunity, and yes we had her for 18 years but you’re right we were just children and didn’t fully understand. As I have gotten older her passing affects me more now than at the time of her death, and all the things we have missed out on but again ever so grateful to have my own children and be able to watch them as they grow up xx
Talya
November 14, 2018 at 12:27 pm
You are so right. I’m so sorry your mum passed away at only 50. I’ve had two friends pass away in the last couple of years in their 30s so this post really resonates with me.
Amanda Blackburn
November 14, 2018 at 6:54 pm
This post made me cry 😢 we definitely need to make the most. Life is so unfair! ❤️
Rachel Evans
November 14, 2018 at 9:30 pm
Such a thought provoking post. I’m so sorry for your loss x
Louise
November 15, 2018 at 9:51 am
I’m so sorry to hear that your mum passed away so young. My cousin lost both her parents at a young age, so I know how difficult it can be. I think the most important thing is to treasure the memories you do have of her, as no one can ever take those away from you. Sending big hugs.
Louise x