Hello and welcome to the Brilliant Mum Feature. Once a week I will be featuring one mum in a bid to find out more about them and their lives.
If you’d like to take part in this series, simply fill in this form.
Victoria is 32 years old and lives in Gloucestershire with her husband Ben, and their two children Bella (5) and Reuben (3). Victoria is a full time blogger and part-time home, money maker through various methods such as eBay reselling, website testing and mystery shopping. Victoria loves going to the gym and is obsessed with healthy living, and researching this topic as much as possible. She’s been vegetarian for several years and this year Victoria cut out dairy and eggs too. Healthy living and blogging are her obsessions!
Thanks for taking part Victoria!
Have you always wanted to be a mum?
Yes I always knew I wanted to be a mum, even when I was a teenager and perhaps before! I remember having a pregnancy scare at age 17 and feeling disappointed I wasn’t pregnant, even though I was in sixth form and the timing was not right for me then at all.
How did you feel when your children were born?
I wouldn’t say I was exactly ecstatic at the birth! I was just in so much pain and shock at how painful it was after the first birth (only gas and air as pain relief) and again at the second, but with the added head spinning and sickness from morphine with the second birth, that I didn’t feel that instant rush of love like many claim to feel. I couldn’t even hold my son at first as the morphine made me so sick I didn’t want to throw up all over him! I remember watching One Born Every Minute and seeing a lady have a water birth and literally pop her baby out and mention how easy it was, she barely made a noise. I assumed that would be me at the first birth, but not so! Once I was over the shock of it all and stitched up and away from the doctors with my husband, I was able to fully relax, take it all in and look at my beautiful children and then start to feel that amazing feeling!
I think I felt it quicker with my son (second baby), but we were so worried about his health and didn’t know what was happening – we spent ten days in hospital after and discovered he had a type of congenital heart disease and had a heart operation soon after his birth. We had to sign documents to say we understood he could die in the operation, so this was a scary time and as soon as we had our precious baby and started to feel that love we also realised he could be taken away from us in an instant. It was a crazy mix of emotions. I definitely didn’t enjoy the births (does anyone?) and pregnancies (high risk and lots of problems) so I never want to do it again, but I knew I wanted at least two children so I’m so glad I got through it twice and have two wonderful children.
I wonder if I should have had an epidural and not felt any of the pain, then things may have been different at the birth?! I’d love to feel that instant rush of love people say they have that also takes all the pain away!
What have been your most rewarding experiences so far as a mum?
So much. Just being able to be someone’s mum is the most rewarding feeling. Knowing these little people depend on me and need me to care for them and raise them as best as possible. Knowing no-one else can be their mum, just me. On a personal level it’s also boosted my confidence so much and allowed me to become self-employed and follow my dreams. Something I don’t think would have ever happened had I not had children.
I love watching the children grow and develop, but their happiness is the most important. Seeing them have fun, laughing and playing and enjoying the world around them is hugely rewarding. I also love how we are a family now. Me and my husband went from being a couple to having children and becoming a strong family unit. Also their development is incredible to watch. My son is now three so it’s amazing hearing his language develop. My daughter is five and it’s been amazing to see her learn to read and write so quickly at school.
What are some of your funniest moments to have happened to you as a mum?
Probably a lot of baby brain moments, which I now call parent brain as it never seems to go away! I’ve put washing on without any detergent, made tea with cold water, poured juice on cereal… the list goes on! My husband is forever laughing at my ‘clumsiness’ which I’m sure is just my new parent brain!
There’s something most days that I do that is unbelievably stupid and he just watches in amusement! The kids also make me laugh daily. It’s usually the funny things they say, such as Reuben not being able to pronounce his Vs at the moment, so instead they are Bs. He loves dinsoaurs and volcanoes, but shouts ‘BUMCANO’ whenever he sees a hill or similar! I laugh every time!
Have there been any situations with your children that you have found difficult to cope with?
Probably the last year! My son being 2 and my daughter 5 has been a real challenge. Now my son is 3 and I feel we’re going to have one more year of it! He started the terrible twos a couple of months before his second birthday and it’s been in full swing for over a year.
The worst tantrums and stubborness you can ever imagine! That tied with the children now at an age where they can fight and squabble on a regular basis, it’s been a challenge! I only hope we only have one more year of my son being so crazy, then it will calm down once he’s four and things will be a bit easier! I’m regularly dragging him to school screaming (he doesn’t want to wear coat/shoes/socks or hold my hand, preferring to run into the road, so has a tantrum the whole way) then we get to school and he’ll lie on the playground having a paddy… he basically wants to do the opposite of whatever I want him to do and when every day starts like this it becomes quite stressful! Other parents tell me their boys were the worst at this age too and then they are easy, so fingers crossed!!
What are your dreams and hopes for your children?
For them to enjoy life and be happy. Their happiness is the most important to me.
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