The Pressure of Growing Up Today
When I was growing up, I spent most of my free time outdoors with my friends.
We’d go to the park, walk in the river, sit outside the shops eating ice lollies on hot days and go to the woods to climb trees and build dens.
Technology wasn’t really around. We had a desktop computer that my sister and I would use to play rollercoaster tycoon now and again, but aside from that we didn’t use our phones for anything other than making phone calls. I don’t think I got my first mobile phone until I was around 11 years old, but I’m reading more and more news articles and social media posts about children as young as six having their own mobile phones and Instagram accounts which are monitored by their parents.
My girls are almost five years old and no-way will they be having a mobile phone at such a young age. It’ll be a long, long time before they do! I don’t see the need for it at this age.
What’s worried me the most about having young children growing up in today’s world is that according to research by mental health charity, Place2Be, almost two thirds of children worry all the time with one of the top three concerns being school work.
The survey was carried out at 20 schools across England, Scotland and Wales toward the end of 2016. The results found that the top concern was family well-being (54%), followed closely by the well-being of friends (48%) and 41% were worried about school work.
Life today is more demanding than ever before. I’ve clearly seen this first hand as I witness my three step-children trying to make their way in the world. The eldest is working full time and has been for a good number of years now. Her younger sister is currently in University which has pressures all of its own and their brother is considering his options for university.
In between school and work, where is the time for them to explore the world? To travel and seek new experiences, meet new people and truly live life. I know that some people take gap years, but that’s so expensive.
Schools have so many targets that they have to hit and this pressure felt by teachers and their governing body is weighing down on our children.
As a society we’re all programmed with the understanding that we have to go to nursery, then school, maybe college or university and then we’ll get a job straight from school or college/university.
We’re all robots being manufactured to meet the same expectations as one another. Are we too scared to go off track and try something different? Does knowing that you’re doing the same as everyone else makes us feel more safe and secure? Yet, it limits our abilities and capabilities to live life to the fullest.
I’d love to hear your thoughts!
35 Comments
Dad
February 10, 2017 at 2:27 am
Great post! Really thought-provoking. We seem to be moving forward full-steam ahead, without any understanding at all of the destination. No wonder stress levels are rising in our kids.
You may be interested in the idea of the universal basic income. It is a concept that has been developed to counter some of what you are talking about.
As for kids and technology, I grew up with a pretty good mix. Some time in front of the computer, lots of time outside. Tech itself isn’t a problem, but extended or inappropriate use of it is.
#ThatFridayLinky
Wendy
February 10, 2017 at 7:13 am
Very interesting read. There is absolutely no way my boys will be having a phone as young as 6. They just don’t need one when there’s a big wide world out there to explore. I always felt a lot of pressure to go to uni. I went and I got a first but I’m now a sahm with 2 kids and no career prospects, you can’t always plan how life will turn out. Great read #thatfridaylinky
Stephanie
February 10, 2017 at 7:23 am
I would love to see them do away with homework. It takes away their time to be a kid and learn through play and experiences. It would also give them time to emotionally deal with the things that are going on in their personal worlds. #thatfridaylinky
Fran Back With a Bump
February 10, 2017 at 7:38 am
A really good read and something i strongly agree with. When I was a kid there was no pressure of technology and at ten I’d still happily play make believe and play with dolls! Parenting is all about doing what you believe is right regardless of other parents who might think unlimited technology time is a good idea. #thatfridaylinky
John Adams
February 10, 2017 at 8:21 am
School pressure is, frankly, insane. I’m very impressed at the things my eldest has learned at school and she’s quite bright so the pressure is minimal but for some of the kids, it’s way too much. And don’t get me started on technology. We limit it, but we’re as bad as any other family! Thanks for hosting #thatfridaylinky
Beth
February 10, 2017 at 8:49 am
Great post. I ended up going to University because it was what my brother did and what all my friends did. I actually hated it when I was there. The university lifestyle just wasn’t for me, and I hated my course. I also met some horrible people there who weren’t very nice. I ended up sticking it out because I’d already spent money I thought I needed to finish. I’m glad I did finish but really I shouldn’t have gone in the first place, I should have been brave and gone a different route. I definitely will be encouraging my daughter to really think about what it is she wants to do before making any big decisions like whether to go to university. Although having to make such big decisions at a young age is hard anyway. Thank you for hosting #ThatFridayLinky
momoftwolittlegirls
February 10, 2017 at 8:53 am
I agree. The pressure on kids is ridiculous. I also think (in my case anyway), parents get swept up in it to. I often hear “We put our child in extra maths so he gets a good start”or other similar statements. Then all the other parents think they must do the same so their little precious isn’t left behind. Surely they should be learning what is necessary and best AT school. The pressure is ridiculous if you ask me.
I have no idea what the answer is though.
#thatfridaylinky
kerry
February 10, 2017 at 8:56 am
Great post! We are definitely all turning into robots, we deal with the same shit just a different day! Its so hard to travel because of costs and jobs, mortgages are now a rope around our necks and schools make it super hard for us to holiday with our children (for some the term holidays are impossible!) I think we have lost what life is all about because its all work and no play! Even children don’t have play times like they did in the 90’s! At my sons school if homework isn’t completed they have to miss a play time to complete it in class, he is 5 years old! As for mobile phones I’m becoming to think that they are the WORST invention ever!! No one takes cameras anywhere with them now, you go out for a family meal and people are sat glued to their phones instead of holding up a human conversation with their parents/siblings. I think the worlds gone mad!!
#thatfridaylinky
David
February 10, 2017 at 9:41 am
Nail. On. The. Head! I couldn’t agree more. As a child, I lived outdoors from dawn till dusk. I’m a child of the 70s so tech was minimal … we played, we laughed, we fought and cried; but mostly we learnt about life outside of the home and classroom.
I went to uni twice and loved every minute because it mattered to me at the time. But the pressure on kids now is ridiculous. In my experience they mostly go because it is now expected. Most of them don’t really want to and go because they feel they have to.
I catch myself stressing about whether Fidget (5 in March) has read her words. She stresses about a couple of other kids who are ahead of her. It’s just pressure for pressure’s sake. At her age I spent my time playing, and we learnt loads: interaction, social skills and where we were in the world.
I had best stop there. I could write an essay on this!
Great post.
Rach
February 10, 2017 at 9:59 am
There’s so much pressure these days from all sorts of areas. School pressure, social pressure, financial pressure. Everything seems so much more pressurised these days. It’s sad. Interesting post. #thatfridaylinky
becky
February 10, 2017 at 10:58 am
I’m a massive worrier. Growing up I’m pretty sure there was always something which I was worried about. Now they would seem trivial but at the time it felt like my world was ending! I think it’s important to help your children find the right balance. To understand how important education and school is. But also to know that you need time relax and enjoy been young. Really great read #thatfridaylinky
five little doves
February 10, 2017 at 11:31 am
I completely agree. I went to high school at 11 still playing with my Barbie dolls, and was very much a child. Now you have primary school aged children who no longer play with toys and spend their spare time on the ipad watching make up tutorials! It’s absolute madness! I am very much about letting children be children, even if their peers aren’t doing the same. Childhood goes by so fast, I will never understand why children are in such a rush to grow up so fast – being a grown up isn’t all it cracked up to be! #thatfridaylinky
Laura Beresford
February 10, 2017 at 12:21 pm
My older 2 are more proficient on technology than my parents! Children have pressure to conform, we have been asked on a playdate by a child if we’re poor because the kids don’t have a tv in their room. #ThatFridayLinky
Dadsense
February 10, 2017 at 4:17 pm
Fantastic post, I couldn’t agree more! I felt pressured to enter University right away, and I ended up studying in a field that I wasn’t remotely interested in. As much as we would like to encourage our children to start their lives as early as possible, will 2 years difference in graduation dates make any difference when they’re 70? I highly doubt it.
Thanks for hosting #thatfridaylinky! Sorry I missed commenting last week, I was on holiday in Spain!
Chloe
February 10, 2017 at 6:23 pm
Hi, what a great read. You are right there are so many different pressures from society these days, Chloe #ThatFridayLinky
Gary @dadof2athome
February 10, 2017 at 6:29 pm
I can’t believe how grown up my three year old daughter is at times. It does feel like it’s happening at too rapid a pace for my liking. Much of this is down to the vast availability of media and technology compared to when we were their age in my opinion #thatfridaylinky
Sarah Howe @runjumpscrap
February 10, 2017 at 7:54 pm
Think I read this report with my Mum and is did scare me too! I don’t remember worrying about much, it was mainly homework and how flat chested I was! Now I fear social media and the internet puts an awful lot of pressure of kids and that fact does scare me! Thanks for hosting x
lianne
February 10, 2017 at 8:35 pm
Great post , it’s all so different these days , it’s scary the pressure social media puts on everyone especially kids #thatlinkyfriday
Jo – Pickle and Poppet
February 10, 2017 at 8:43 pm
I agree, my children will not be having phones at that age, there is no need for a child to have a phone until they are going out on there own and in my opinion that is when they probably go to high school.
I was talking to a chap that I work with and he had said his step daughter who is 6 was sitting exams, I was in complete shock -why would a 6 year old need to sit an exam?
We seem to be in a world where we focus on kids growing up to quickly. Let them be children, let them be free to play and explore whilst they can. Grades are good but they really aren’t everything.
Dave – Dad’s Turn
February 10, 2017 at 8:49 pm
Agree we’re going to try and hold off giving a phone to my kids as long as possible. There are way too many pressures on kids these days from school tests you’re right. I never did a gap year, or a few years exploring or working in another country and have now ended up settled down with a big social network where I live, so it gets more and more difficult to break out of that and not lose touch with friends. It’s definately worth thinking how we try to make sure our kids don’t fall into the same (not all too bad) trap without thinking about alternatives first #ThatFridayLinky
2 Bottles of Milk
February 10, 2017 at 9:06 pm
What a great post! Both my boys have what we call Tablet Time but it is limited but they will not be having a phone or social media accounts at aged 6.
Certainly give me food for thought though
ohmummymia
February 10, 2017 at 9:18 pm
I agree with you! I can feel a pressure almost everywhere:/ work, school, pressure to be skinny etc. We should stopp it for our kids
#ThatFridayLinky
Tessa @ Grumpy Mum Reviews
February 10, 2017 at 10:15 pm
I think the worse thing is how quickly kids seem to grow up. I hate seeing little kids (particularly girls) dressed like adults. It makes me want to shake them and tell them to go climb a tree, growing up is a trap! I also hate the rules against taking children out of school for family holidays. I can understand it in GCSE years, but before that I’m sure that the experience of having a decent holiday is worth just as much as the few classes they miss. Particularly as the massive price hike during the holidays prevents most parents from taking their kids off to see the world.
Ooo… I’m feeling all ranty now lol #thatfridaylinky
melissa
February 11, 2017 at 11:48 am
Some interesting points in your post thanks for sharing. I think everyone must take a gap between study and work. It has to be done for a young person to get some life experience under their belt. Otherwise at some point, now or in 20 years they will have a feeling of unfinished business. Its a big world, until you step away from your current reality be wild and free you have no good perspective on your life. It doesn’t have to be expansive, go to Spain for 6 months, work in a bar. Go and do a ski season, have your accommodation as part of your working payment arrangement. Volunteer abroad. But do something.
A friend of mine who is a single mum to 3 kids now in the late teens early twenties told me the best way to keep kids on the straight and narrow is to keep them busy, sports clubs, acting groups, craft classes whatever works. Shes a strong woman and has done a fantastic job. I hope I will do as good a job with my daughters.
#thatfridaylinky
Lianne
February 11, 2017 at 4:02 pm
School pressure is difficult! I remember it well, and my now 12 year old is dealing with it as we speak, whilst battling with whatever else being an almost teenager is throwing at him!
kristin mccarthy
February 11, 2017 at 6:48 pm
Very true thoughts and points. Our oldest will be ten and is going to middle school. We have thought about getting a phone for emergency situations es since she will stay after school almost every day to play sports or be a part of clubs- and I will be running around with three little ones.
But are we opening Pandora’s box…
#thatfridaylinky
Jade – Raw Childhood
February 11, 2017 at 7:31 pm
You have said some of the reasons as to why I will be homeschooling my boys.. I want to let them see and explore and I don’t want them stuck behind a desk at school daydreaming and waiting for the day to finish. #thatfridaylinky
Helen Gandy
February 11, 2017 at 7:55 pm
There really is so much pressure, it’s definitely something that worries me for the kids as they grow up. Thanks for hosting #That FridayLinky
Its Adam Again
February 11, 2017 at 8:28 pm
It is so difficult to get the balance right. I wish I had been encouraged to take a year out to go travelling before University, but with all the pressures you mentioned, it was all about getting to the next stage in life and not perhaps just enjoying it! I am hoping like you that Little M avoids the pressures of technology and peers for quite a while.
Richie Sayers
February 11, 2017 at 8:44 pm
Couldn’t agree more. My children certainly won’t be getting a mobile phone at a young age. I will probably get them one when they start secondary school as that is more than likely when they will walk to school on their own or with friends. I will feel better knowing they can contact us if they need us.
#thatfridaylinky
Peachy and her Mommy
February 12, 2017 at 8:35 am
The truth is that life is short and there is a lot of pressure to make the most of it. To many people that means success in terms of financial stability. For most of our parents that ment going to school, getting a job at a decent company, and staying there for life. That was the safe way to live. But the world is changing and that will no longer work for most people. The world has changed to become more competative. The next generation of employees will have to be a different breed. #ThatFridayLinky
Helena
February 12, 2017 at 6:29 pm
It’s interesting to read your perspective on things as your children are older than mine. #ThatFridayLinky
Mrs Mummy Harris
February 12, 2017 at 6:50 pm
There is so much pressure out there – more than when i was in education and it is quite scary especially considering the costs of University alongside the lowered requirements to get in which appears to just be the governments way of getting more money from more people!
I would love Ben to go to uni to help increase his chance of a better career but at the same time – I understand some people arent brainy but are brilliant with labour or creative jobs and if thats the path Ben goes down then as long as he is happy then so be it!
Oh and he will not get a phone until secondary school and if i can prevent him having the “in” phone and just a cheap one that doesnt have the internet then ill be even happier! #thatfridaylinky
Amie
February 13, 2017 at 3:12 pm
Very true. Just recently my partner and I were talking about how different our children’s lives are now and how different they will be at 10 years old compared to how we were at 10 years old. Children just don’t get childhoods anymore because of the rise in technology and they would all much rather be online than outside! #ThatFridayLinky
jeremy@thirstydaddy
February 14, 2017 at 3:09 pm
I was actually in my 30s when I got my first phone, but I’m a bit older! Its the social media pressures that worry me the most for my daughter. Its seems that so many people now have their self worth tied into how many followers or likes they have. #thatfridaylinky Great post. pinned.