An open letter to my daughters
I’m not usually one for open letters, but with the start of a new year, I thought I’d get this one down in writing as it’s something that I’ve been thinking about for some time now.
As a female, and as a mother of two amazing daughters, who, like myself, also happen to be twins, I feel it’s important that I share some of my own life lessons with you.
The fact that I’ve chosen to do this publicly is hopefully a good thing. Perhaps other women may find use in it, or perhaps not, who knows!
Growing up as a woman in this world can be tough. I know this because I am indeed a woman!
Childhood was pretty interesting for me. I learnt pretty quickly that being female meant a lot of male attention and quite often whether you want it or not, you’ll get it. This became quickly apparent to me when I started high school. Boys would make rude remarks about girls chests as we started to hit puberty and develop boobs. Some girls more so than others.
Most people put it down to ‘boys being boys’ back then but, and I must admit I went along with this, nowadays I know all too well that this is simply not true.
Boys should be raised into men who respect women, and vice versa. Sadly some men are raised with the misconception that women are there purely for their enjoyment and to amuse them.
Many men still believe that women should just learn to look pretty, be quiet and keep the home in order.
Well, girls I am here to tell you otherwise.
You, my girls, are on this earth to make a difference. To learn, to live and to experience all this wonderful planet has to offer you. The first thing I want you both to do is perhaps the most important.
Find out who you are, what you enjoy doing and respect yourself. Respect and learn to love your mind, your body and your soul. Know your worth and never let anyone put you down. Before you can love anyone else, it’s so important that you learn to love yourself first. Take time out to nurture yourself. Whether that’s going away on your own to a strange city to people watch or just lay on a beach or by a pool somewhere, do it. Perhaps it’s taking yourself to your favourite place, wherever that may be, and reading a book. Maybe it’s with your friends at a spa, at home with your pet, running a new route or in the gym.
However, you decide to do it, looking after yourself should always be your top priority. Your happiness is controlled only by one person, and that person is YOU. No-one else. Respect yourselves. Respect your mind, your body and your soul and make sure that others respect you in these ways too.
Moving on…
I grew up with the belief that life is about getting a good education, getting a good job, finding a man, getting married and having babies.
Yes, that’s a wonderful part of life, but it shouldn’t be your first priority.
Yes, education is important. Super important, and I really do want you both to try your best to do as well as you can.
A good job is also important. After all, it’s the place you’ll spend the majority of your life. Every day, pretty much all day, so make it a good one! Please don’t fall into the trap that I did and end up in jobs that don’t ignite your passion.
Use your teenage years to learn all about you. What you enjoy doing and then harness that and put it to good use by finding a job to match. I’m not saying that’s going to be easy, but it’s certainly achievable if you put your mind to it.
Make friends. Lots of friend. Surround yourself with good friends and people who lift you up and add value to your life. Ditch those who just bring you down. Good friends stick around forever and will always be there for you when times are tough and when they’re not so tough.
Be independent. I mean this in so many different ways. Learn how to cook good meals, look after your body. You only get one and how you treat it will determine how you live. Exercise, eat well and enjoy life. Be self-sufficient, don’t rely on anyone else, but yourself. Be financially stable. Put money away every single month, even if it’s just a few pounds. To be able to support yourself financially will make life a whole lot easier and happier for you.
Explore the world. Climb mountains, swim in wild lakes, explore cities and beaches. Discover new places, eat in new places and do things that make YOU happy. Don’t be afraid to try new things.
Life really is worth living and this world of ours has so much to offer if only you’ll let it.
I’m a big believer that everything happens for a reason. We meet who we meet in life for a reason and go and do things for a reason. We may never know why, but even the things that break us, happen for a reason. To teach us lessons, show ourselves that we’re stronger than we think are, cleverer than we think we are and that we can get through anything.
As Beyonce once said:
Who run the world? Girls!
