Parenting is…

Hoping your child doesn’t finish all of their food because you secretly want to eat their leftovers – who doesn’t like cold, homemade pizza that’s been chewed on by a five year old?

Not knowing any other parents name. You simply refer to them as “Tom’s Mum” or “Helen’s Dad”

Deciding to walk the kids to school because it’s healthier and better for the environment, only for you to get half way when the heavens open and you all get drenched. Not only that, but neither you or your kids have a coat or an umbrella.

Bribing your children. “If you’re nice to your siblings I’ll buy you a magazine!” “If you tidy your room up, you can have chocolate cake!”

Using your kids as an excuse to get out of a social situation. “Sorry, I can’t go out tonight. Yeah, the kids are just really sick and I don’t want to leave them.”

Using any excuse to avoid your kids when they’re actually sick. “Overtime? Sure! I’m in!”

Your kid not being able to read a book that you’ve gone through with them every night for the past week, yet when you bump into ‘that mum’ in the street, your child loudly says, “Mummy, what did you call her last week? Was it a ‘insert bad word here’?!

Not realising the kids have left the room and you’re still colouring in that picture of Elsa or worse still continuing to watch Dr Ranj on CBeebies. For educational purposes of course!

Not being able to find a single pair of matching socks for your child, even though you just bought them like twenty pairs of socks!

Pretending to be asleep when your child wanders over to your side of the bed at 6am and then desperately trying to stay still when you can hear them waking their daddy up, hoping he’ll let you stay in bed for an extra half hour!

Telling your child there are no Freddo’s left, then secretly eating the last one as it’s the last bit of chocolate left in the house!

Eating something you know your child will like, but telling them that they won’t like it because you don’t want to share.

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